I have to say this week I have been thinking a lot about what I was doing 11 years ago. I was preparing to go to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. I was so excited for the future, and I was so in love with my soon-to-be husband. I prayed a lot about my decision to marry and the spirit did tell my heart that I was doing the right thing. I had found this wonderful man, who wanted the same things I wanted and shared the same beliefs. I thought that my life was destined to be so wonderful.
I think about the pre-existence, how we chose who we would meet on the Earth. Heavenly Father knew (and so did we) before we came to Earth the choices that we would make, and the trials we would have to overcome. I have a hard time believing that I chose these trials, but I do know that that is true.
Free Agency has been a hard principle for me to understand lately. I know Heavenly Father gave us this "gift"....but, sometimes Free Agency can often affect others. We have Free Agency to choose right from wrong, and we must be accountable for our actions. I don't know why things changed, and I may never have the answers. I know that I tried my hardest, and I can't have any regrets.
I know that my life is not what I had planned, but that doesn't mean that it will never be. I know that if I live my life according to the gospel, and keep my eyes focused on what is important that the Lord will bless my life. I have been true to my covenants, I want those blessings for my children. I am trying so hard to put the anger behind me, and become the person the Lord wants me to be. I am not the person I was 11 years ago....I am a much stronger woman. I hope that Heavenly Father has something special in store for me.
