I have to say this week I have been thinking a lot about what I was doing 11 years ago. I was preparing to go to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. I was so excited for the future, and I was so in love with my soon-to-be husband. I prayed a lot about my decision to marry and the spirit did tell my heart that I was doing the right thing. I had found this wonderful man, who wanted the same things I wanted and shared the same beliefs. I thought that my life was destined to be so wonderful.
I think about the pre-existence, how we chose who we would meet on the Earth. Heavenly Father knew (and so did we) before we came to Earth the choices that we would make, and the trials we would have to overcome. I have a hard time believing that I chose these trials, but I do know that that is true.
Free Agency has been a hard principle for me to understand lately. I know Heavenly Father gave us this "gift"....but, sometimes Free Agency can often affect others. We have Free Agency to choose right from wrong, and we must be accountable for our actions. I don't know why things changed, and I may never have the answers. I know that I tried my hardest, and I can't have any regrets.
I know that my life is not what I had planned, but that doesn't mean that it will never be. I know that if I live my life according to the gospel, and keep my eyes focused on what is important that the Lord will bless my life. I have been true to my covenants, I want those blessings for my children. I am trying so hard to put the anger behind me, and become the person the Lord wants me to be. I am not the person I was 11 years ago....I am a much stronger woman. I hope that Heavenly Father has something special in store for me.
5 comments:
He does have something in store for you! We sure love you and are proud of your strength!
You are an amazing person Heather! I struggle with Free Agency too. I think to some extent we all do. I often find myself thinking, why on earth did I choose this! Then I remember that before I came to earth I could see everything, and I could feel Heavenly Father's love...then the question is answered...I chose this because of what is to come. And since I chose it I know that I will make it through it (with Heavenly Father's help). Keep your shoulder to the wheel and everything will turn out the way it is meant to.
What I love is the sweetness of the way you are going about your life and the lives of your children. Your faith and patience are great examples to me - just know that there are so many of us who love you and are supporting you and the things you are doing.
Just keep on doing what you're doing - you're on the right track, and if you continue the way you've been going, your life will be blessed in ways you could never have imagined.
Love you!
You are truly an inspiration to all that know you. I feel blessed to have reconnected with you again. You build me up and help me realize the importance of trials. Youre are truly stunning inside and out.
Any time you doubt the Lord, you can look at your 4 amazing little spirits he's blessed you with. There's no questioning that they were supposed to come to you!
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